Hyper active..

I don't even know what is wrong with me?!I am like so hyper active today!Today was suppose to be the most tiring training ever but,surprise surprise I wasn't even tired..But,I'm proud I'm not sad and all...Keep up the good job

The chase has ended..I lost..

A few minutes ago...I was told the most ugliest thing I had ever heard..A total disaster nightmare that changed my life from that very second i heard it.I'm finished...It's over..The chase has ended..He is taken.By a absolute beauty.Me?I'm a horrible monster..What should I do??Forget that nothing happened??Maybe I should..

Embarassed...sobsob

I bet everyone of us remember how happy we were to be recorded in the cam and then afterwards when we view it,we will be thinking."Oh My Gosh!Are you sure that's me??Is that really me?Why do i laugh so funnily?Oh My Gosh!I should not have do this,I should not have did that!".And bla bla bla we go blabbing on how horrible we look in the video.And now,I am currently watching the video my dad taped when I was 9 years old and laughing at how hideous I was during that time...I'm sure everybody had this experience before..

Hope,wishes and self-confidence,do they really exist??

I'm down and depressed but what can I do?Maybe I'm just thinking too much,I need a break but,I just can't seem to free myself.I need to solve all my problems but how?The last and only solution which is the last thing I'll do and hope I don't have to,quit..

S.M.S not SMS

Save My Soul...Where are you my guardian angel?i need you badly now,need you by my side,need the warmth you gave me when you're comforting me.Where are you Guardian Angel?How do I tell you how much I need you and how deep my feelings are towards you?I'd swim across the sea just to see you,I'd climb the highest mountain just to hold your hand.Will you ever feel that way bout me too?Will you?Please tell me you will,cause I don't have the strength anymore.I don't have the strength to stay away from you.Not anymore.I'm breaking apart,will you save my soul and my broken heart?Will you?Will I one day have a place in your heart?Will I one day be in your mind when you're in trouble or when your happy?Will you be first person I see when I want to cry?Will I ever have a place?

I'm dead

HAIZ!So sad..I wanna tell,but just don't know how to.Who can help me la??!!My heart and soul is gonna explode soon if I don't tell him,but I just don't know how to.Every time I look at him,I'm tempted to tell him,but the words just won't come out.And then,I find myself stuck again.Then,I start to behave like a real idiot in front of him.Today,I felt like I was controlling him,when his doing something.then later,when I sat down and slowly think of what I've done.I regret for doing what I did just now.Why is it so hard to get those words out of my mouth??Why?I think I need a counselor..I'm dying here..

Frustated..As usual

Gosh.nowadays,life sure has it's up and downs.But,I've been thinking,a lot.Well,I don't wanna be like her,who needs people worrying about her being so fragile and precious and I don't mean to offend her.I just don't wanna be like her,I wanna be strong,independent and not always relying on other people.I'm not saying that I'm not fragile well,to most people,I'm not.To most people,I'm a tomboy,a girl who is hopeless and beyond repair.But,I wanna be more than that.Most important thing is,I don't want to be a pathetic idiot.I wanna be there when you need someone to share your problems,not just you must be there when I have problems and all that stuff.I want us to communicate like close friends do,I don't wanna see you there sulking and keeping all your problems by yourself and when I ask you if your fine,you'll just look at me and smile and say "I'm fine,".I don't want that,I wanna be able to help you and help you with your problems.So, I really hope I can be someone like that.