Confused..

I sometimes wonder, were we made for each other? Or were we just plainly madly in love? In circumstances like these, when we talk about how lost we are, how we can't find our true selves because we gave in to each other, I feel as though we don't even know each other at all. There are times when I feel that we are from two different planets. But sometimes, when we're together, it feels like nothing matters anymore as long as we're together, embracing each other. You said that you might be crazy for waiting around for me the 24/7. But to me, I feel it's sweet and adorable. You ask me to decide if I need you that night. But dear, truth is, I don't even know when do I need you. I don't like to see you trapped because of me, that's the truth, but at the same time, I want you, although I know well that it's nothing but a selfish need. You said you are confused, well I am too..

Can I Just Dream On?

You made me come to realize that reality is harsh, much more cruel than fantasy. Yes, I've learnt little by little to accept the fact that its no doubt harsh. Learnt that you can't change people.

But since I was a kid, I've been dreaming that one day I can make the world a better place, that I can change people to be better. I know its selfish to think that way, but its just who I am. I know its the most naive thing you can find in someone.

But, for now, before everything ends, will you just let me dream on? Will you just let me believe in myself for once that I can do that?

Why?

Everyone's changed now. Its as if a new chapter has revealed upon itself and the old one shut close, hidden and forgotten forever.

The atmosphere is so saddening nowadays. With more and more people giving up, leaving the ones left clinging on for dear life. Today, even sir has died, inside with disappointment. Why? Why do you have to do this? It was once a place full of joy and laughter, where everyone was treated as part of the family. Now? Its left with nothing but shredded pieces of memories, either forgotten or hidden away. Our family has grown smaller, day by day. Every little piece of the puzzle that was once firm and strong, they're beginning to tear apart, instead of facing adversity.

Is this how it'll end? With no one fighting on to keep it alive? Why do you all have to do this? Yes I admit sometimes some of us can be shitty and crappy, but through all those times, we've been through it together as a family. But now? Everyone's hurting each other. It's like your tearing your own skin off.

Answer me this though.

Will each and everyone of you look back one fine day and smile at all those memories we had together as a team? Or will you sigh and wished it was never a chapter of your life? Or worse, will you be filled with hatred every time you look back?

Please don't do this...

Everyone of us has our own passion in doing something we love. May it be art, swimming, reading, dancing etc. I'm probably just blabbing here, but that's what a blog is for isn't it?

Form 4, begins a new chapter of life. New things to learn, growing older and turning into a lady day by day. Not to forget, Sweet Sixteen that only comes once in a lifetime. With the burden that I bear, no matter what, I still wanna go.

So, please, will you please stop trying to stop me from going to the one place I can feel sane? The one place that at least I have left a lil' bit more hope on changing it back to the way it was 5 years ago...

Will I Survive?

Did you ever cling your hopes onto certain people because they were your inspiration? That they were the prove that something can be done because they are the living prove? I received a shocking news today, hearing that their world was broken apart. I have looked up to them as an inspiration and most important, she was a dear friend and was always there when the road is bumpy. But now, I'm left with nothing. I feel lost. I keep asking myself will I too face the similar situation?

I've yet again succeeded in discovering the ugly side of humanity. May it be my acquaintances, my mentors, my friends or the people whom I used to respect. Everywhere I turn, there's always something that is happening. Why? Why can't everything just went back to the way they were? Why can't things went back to what they were 5 years ago? Everyone was so much more friendlier then. Everyone was treated equally, and everyone became a family. But now? All of that has turned to ashes. My question is, will the ashes turn into a phoenix? Will the rain fade and the rainbows appear?

It's only been a week since school started and already I'm in a mess. Dealing with all sorts of people every day, I am relieved to say that I am still sane. I've had words that cut me deep thrown to me, I just hope that I still survive this endeavour. Being in the top is not easy as I have come to realized. As days pass by, I find myself wondering have I made the right decision? Have I chosen the correct path to pursue?

But, at the end of the day, no matter what life throws at us, it's still our life. We decide what we are and not become who others want us to be. I just hope that at the end of the day, everything is worthwhile.

2011

First and foremost, Happy New Year to all of you.

Well, what can I say? Time really does flies. After all the hardships, it all became my memories of the year 2010. Can't deny it's it has really been tough last year. Also, sad to say that 2010 has finally come to an end.

Here's hoping all of you readers good luck for the year 2011. =)

Another miracle perhaps?