Alas, the first post of 2014, yet again another year unfolds, a new book, a new journey that waits impatiently for us to discover, new resolutions, a fresh start.
But before all of that, I would start the first post of year 2014 with what has been going on throughout the previous year.
Year 2013. The year that changed my entire purpose of existence.
First and foremost, the year started with the freedom what every 17 year old in Malaysia was waiting for. After studying and struggling for 11 years, school was FINALLY over. I could finally taste freedom and I could finally begin a new journey in life. As much as I will miss my alma mater, a place that will always have a special place in my heart, I was eager to start another chapter of my life.
Started the year with an annual dinner with the Taekwondo family, happy to see that after all the struggles, those that remain loyal and true were still strong. Soon after, sent one of my best pals off to the one of the worst nightmares of a 17 year old in the country, National Service! Thank my lucky stars my name was not on the list :P . Although after that she told us it was one of the best experiences she ever had.
Most of the free time was then filled with working, one of the biggest regrets of my life for agreeing to a favour. Every day I dreaded the thought of going to work, seeing the faces of the younger generation. Don't get me wrong, I don't detest little ones, just the ones who think they own the bloody world and that every one should bow at their presence.
Ever heard of the phrase things happen when you least expect them to? To me, it hit me like a storm outta nowhere. In the midst of enjoying my life, when I was planning where to further my journey, I was struck by a storm. Everything that I ever wanted, all the hopes and all the dreams were snatched away from me. My life was all of a sudden set to the difficulty level of extreme.
I was shackled by the chains of an illness, an illness that would change my life forever. An illness that has no cure but can only go into remission. Everything changed. Literally. Families were confused and friends were concerned. Those who cared enough stayed. Those who didn't just wasn't worth caring for. Through my battle with this unforgiving illness, I've been through what seemed like the impossible. Of course, entering college at this point of my life seemed like I was adding more burden on my shoulders, what with assignments and coursework and the constant need to communicate with peers that I always have to remind myself who do not understand what I'm going through. Those who do I thank my blessings for having found them. Everyday was a battle, from thinking why I was chosen to carry this burden to taking various medication that made me change not only from the inside but outside as well. Who would have known the painstaking effects of medication.
Through all those and here I am, still fighting and learning how to adapt to this new found life every day. Perhaps it was a way to tell me to take a step back and enjoy the simple things in life that I took for granted all this while. Perhaps it was a way of telling me to stop caring so much. Perhaps it was a way of telling me to take it easy and slow down my pace just one step. Perhaps.
So if someone were to ask me how was 2013 for me? I would say 2013 was the year my world changed forever. But through the change, I've learnt to be grateful, I've learnt to be patient (I think), I've learnt to let go, I've learnt to accept myself for who I am (actually it's still a challenge but no worries, I don't plan to give up any time soon) and most important of all, I've learnt that I am not alone. No matter how difficult the path ahead will be, I'm never alone.
I thank my blessings for having not to face this adversity alone.
On a lighter note, this year has its silver lining. To my special someone, after 4 years of growing up and getting chubby together, finally, we beat the odds and can finally lift the burden although not completely but it was more than we could wished for. I thank God for having someone like you by my side. No matter how bad of a person you think you are, I see the good in you. I see the sacrifice that you have made just to see a smile on my face. I see the courage and strength you showed me while walking this path with me. Words will never be enough to describe how much you mean to me. I can only hope we will never be apart so I can show you how much you mean to me. I love you darling.
So, come forth 2014, I await what you have written for me. It is as I say, the dawn of a new day.
