Ever believed in last hopes? Well, I do. So today was a day out with my friends to watch Jennifer's Body at Gurney.

Frankly, this movie kind of disappointed me a bit. As interesting as it may be, it's still kind of boring. It's about a flashback on what happened to Jennifer and Needy, two best friends. Their lives changed when a mysterious band came to perform where they live, Devil's Kettle, named after the waterfall.

So funny when we entered cause it was an above 18 movie. Muahaha, that was the first time I watched an above 18 movie at Gurney.

Lastly, to all my friends who helped me, Arigato Gozaimasu to all of you!

Nicknames..Part 2

Since Phooi Yuee is going to kill me if I do not update my nicknames, so to you jie, here it is...
Enjoy!

First on the list:

Kemek...And I'm sure my gang knows how I got this name right?

2nd :

My nerd name which I got from a Facebook quiz..


Gurdy

Daddy:

Hehe..

Next, Kelawar as in bat:

This nickname, Kelawar was given by Nurdianah because I'm always staying up till late at night and ending up sleepy the next morning.

And, only a few people will know the meaning of this name. So keep the secret okay?


Yes people, as you know, it's...
Peanut Butter & Jelly XD

And that about sums it up all my nicknames that was given and created...Hope you enjoyed it and I will again update if there are any updates!

I am going to SERIOUSLY kill YOU

So I'm currently typing this post at my school's computer room. And just minutes before that, I've tried to call someone, and you should know who you are cause I called at about 1.10pm since you were finishing class about that time. Tried to call you three times, first time, nobody answered, second time same thing, and third time and still the same!
I was going to tell you to buy additional movie tickets but since you did not answer my calls, I'm just hoping and praying that you're not going to buy the tickets yet.
But, if you already did, well, we'll figure something out.

P.S. I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!

Another day, with me ending up being emotional and indulging myself in self pity again. But I ain't talking bout that today.

Today was the training camp for all the presidents, secretaries and treasurers of all the uniform units, clubs, societies as well as boards. So, I was in the Girl Guides 11th Coy. And it was quite a fun day to sum it all up. Realized our seniors have been writing the weekly reports using the wrong format as well as for accounts. Therefore, next year onwards, me, as the secretary will be using the correct format to write reports.

I have decorated the minutes meeting book with a picture which I'm not sure is allowed. And here it is..


Took this picture from one of my T-shirts. I really hope it's allowed cause I ain't gonna rub the thing off. Muahaha

Indulged in self pity...

5 years ago. Year 2004.
It was my first time ever learning martial arts, and I still remember it clearly like it was just yesterday, although, five years have passed. I still remembered, when I first entered the centre, I was wearing a red Spiderman sleeveless T-shirt.
It was a wonderful evening, with the Sun setting yet it's bright light still shone brightly and lit up the atmosphere. Then Master Yaw asked me which school was I from and he told me there was another girl, studying at the same school as me, but she was absent.
The class started, and I felt weird, as it was my first time and my brother and I were the odd ones out as we were the only two wearing sleeveless Spiderman T-shirts.

Year 2006, the first time ever I involved myself in competitions, the sparring and poomsae events. As a beginner, I was proud of myself for becoming a gold medalist, in both sparring and poomsae. At that time, whenever someone mentioned sparring, my heart would beat faster and my spirits lifted up. I feel like I belong there, in the ring, fighting on my own.
Then I remembered there was once, a Friday, which is always a sparring night. I suddenly got afraid of sparring and I cried. Embarrassing isn't it? But I never gave up that time, then came a new event, breaking. And I was so happy to win a gold medal with my team for the first time we entered.

But, as fun as it may be, pressure started coming whenever you get one step higher, whenever you get better. As the saying goes, when the tough gets going, you just have to be tougher. You fight to survive, die trying, or the worst of all, die and not trying at all.
And now, 2009, I've been getting worse and worse, day by day. I've been trying to blame the people around me for giving me pressure, but the truth is, maybe it was just me who did not want to accept the fact that I have to get tougher and keep improving.

Therefore, I start to get worse, at sparring. And the result? I got scolding, again, tonight. I don't blame Master Eddy for scolding me, after all, he has sacrificed a lot for us after all. Sir, although I know you will never be able to read this post, I still want to say thank you for being ever so patient with me, and I am sorry to have let you down.
I have thought of ways to improve myself, but, there is one thing I lack of, self confidence, or maybe more than one thing. Self confidence, not mentally, physically and technically strong.

It's weird isn't it? When I started training, I told myself I would never give up and have dreamt of being a champion. Too bad, this dream remains a dream. This place, which used to be my heaven and everything, have become a torturing hell. I no longer can find my passion for it anymore. My heart no longer beats faster whenever I hear the word sparring, instead, my heart shrivelled, and I was scared.
I don't know if I will ever be able to get that passion, that kind of heartbeat into myself again. November will be my last fight, as I will be stopping for the whole year next year, which I am sure will be every one's relieve. I will no longer be every one's burden.

The last fight, will I be safe? Or will I be knocked out again?

Blog Archives

Read a few of my blog archives, memories flashed back, apart from realizing I made a hell lot of spelling error.

I did realized something, when I was reading and going through my blog archives, there are way too many things that I did not mention . Therefore, I shall start to try posting my memorable incidents and happenings in my blog.

Untill my next post then people!

Volleyball...Fun yet oh so vicious

The title says it all people, the title says it all.

So it was bright sunny Tuesday morning, and the pupils of 2 Ungu were all so excited because it's PJ! Then, they went to the field, and the game of the day was, VOLLEYBALL...

The fun part of volleyball is you get to play it at the beach, although we played on the field today..


And the ugly part, for beginners like us, you get your hands bruised...Like this..


So, conclusion is, if you're the kind of girly type, I strongly advice you NOT to involve yourself in this game. Unless you are the sporty type, then welcome aboard gal!

Life Totally Sucks For a 14-year-old like me

I know I'm mostly saying things over and over again, but face the fact, I'm a fourteen year old teenager going through life without any freedom, with people who thinks studying and getting straight As is as easy as ABC. So, Conclusion is, LET ME WHINE WILL YOU?

Okay, I'm going to start with my whining so if you DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY WHINING, THEN BACK OFF AND IGNORE THIS POST!

P.S. I will be using code names to avoid me from being sued.

A cute lil pretty girl was so excited coz her frens invited her to Halloween although she said she couldn't make it at nite and they said hanging out durin the day was ok. So, she went back, asked her daddy and she was allowed to go but. But, see there is always a BUT. But, he will be there, waiting for her while she hangs out. Logically, this will be so not fun because this means she'll be watched...Like this..

Yes, like this, like you're being spyied for your every movement. And you do one mistakes..BANG! You're caught and you are dead people..DEAD like a dead fish..
So, the lil girl sulked, all of a sudden. And her daddy must be thinking what in heaven's sake is wrong with her. And he will never find out. end of story...

Okay I know this is life and life's unfair and all that crap but, I can't seem to accept the fact why do people always, ALWAYS do not trust each other? Even their own blood?! Hello, this is a civilized modern world. Let them go out and mix with people and gain experiences. Of course you don't just let them go like that, but whatever happened to space adn freedom?

Maybe it's because I'm too young to understand the burden they carry, or maybe I've craved too much for freedom. I don't know, you tell me what's gotten into me? Or maybe I really am going cuckoo day by day.

But seriously, I'm tellinjg this to myself all the time I start to whine..

GET A LIFE GIRL AND STOP WHINING!

But I can't, cox no matter what, to me, whining is still the best part of letting everything out..
So, peace babe..

May God be with all of you

Relationships are based on trust, patience, and loyalty.

Thank you, for being ever so patient with me throughout our time together. When I was scared, you assured me that you'll always be with me no matter what happens. When I'm scared I could not live up to your expectations, you said it was okay. When I'm down and feel life is not worth living, your embrace makes me feel life is worth living after all. When I was paranoid, you thought of ways to heal me.

We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find. And mine was given to you, now and always.

Despite all the differences we have, despite all the hardships we have to surpass in order to be together, we have never failed to endure them together, side by side. Although sometimes it feels that the only way to surpass this obstacle is to end this, once and for all, we still endured it, and that made me stronger.

My heart beats faster every time you held me in your arms, the warmth you gave me, can never be replaced. When you whispered You Love Me, I felt blessed. As if the Sun rises and sets with us. Of all the memories you have given me, it s worth it to be with you, forever and always.

Baby, thank you for all the memories you have given me and all those times when you were always there to support me. I love you and am blessed to have someone like you to love me too.

Having high hopes comes with a price, a big disappointment if you fail to achieve it. I felt that exact same way after the recent examinations. Not only have I failed to achieve what I hoped for, it even got worse. It will be a lesson I learnt, like I always do, the hard way. I shall never have high hopes again, because, it all came tumbling down like Jack and Jill crushing me to shattered pieces.

It was another boring night, and she was in front of the her cute little mini laptop, waiting for the clock that ticked so slowly to reach 12am. Why? Because it would then be 23rd of October, their 5th month being together. She began to wonder if he had forgotten all about it, as it was normal for boys to forget about stuff like this. Although she was kind of sure he will never forget such a special day.
Tick.Tick.Tick..
One hour before 12am, and she forced herself to wait for an hour more, although her daddy called her to bed. Then, she was alone in the living room, with only her cute little mini laptop and the television to accompany her. Tick tick tick, a few minutes before 12am, and he asked her why didn't she want to sleep yet and she assure him there is something special. Then, just as she was wishing, he remembered the special day ^^
Ding dong, and the clock showed 12am, 23rd October 2009. She wished her beloved hubby Happy Anniversary and in her heart hoped that they will be together as long as they lived.

Miss Paranoid

She walked into the room, looked around, and saw all the people who were always there. After that, she bowed to everyone like she always does and what did she do next? Sat in a corner which she don't know why it felt so special to her, maybe it was because they used to sit there. Then, her friends came one by one, but it wasn't who she wanted to see. Surprisingly, he came, and she smiled, as it was a special day indeed, 23rd of the month. But oh no, he seemed upset, he seemed angry and she did what she always do, she started to wonder if she had done anything wrong to ruin this special day. Without further thinking, she bowed to him as soon as he came out, and she grew more paranoid seeing his 'upset' expression. Class began, and her usual partner, as she expected was no longer there to be her partner, instead, an instructor. Unfortunately, this made her thought of quitting the class, but, she remembered what her friend at school told her, " You're there to learn something, so don't quit or all your efforts will be wasted'. And that encouraged her to stay in the class, for now. She stood behind him, hoping what she thought was not true but, maybe it was, at least that's what she thought.

Then, training started and she began to think maybe he IS mad at her for always talking so negatively. She partnered with a friend and they stood beside him who partnered with one of the guardians. During the last training, they stood beside him again, and she was beginning to be sure that he is mad at her. Then, a miracle happened. She injured her shoulder and he came to her, and she was so happy that he was not mad at her..What a miracle indeed huh? And how silly she had been to be worrying herself the whole night...

Now that exams are over, I should be happy right? Well, as a matter of fact, I'm so totally not. First of all, apart from being disappointed with my results, I'm growing more emo day by day. Why you ask me? Well, I don't really know, maybe it's because I missed my once cheerful life filled with freedom at school, and now, I have to do duties instead. Guess this is the price of being a prefect huh? The trading of my freedom for extra marks. But looking at all the advantages I have being a prefect, the one thing I hate is I'm starting to lose my friends. As time goes by, I've realized our gap has become larger and larger although we have tried to ignore it. And I don't blame ya'll from hating me, it's a fact I must learn to accept that I will one day lose best friends like you guys. Well, that's one thing I have to worry about. The next, the three letter word which is..P-M-R. Yes, it is this three letters that makes me worry, and it's these letters that made me have nightmares and wished I wasn't a prefect but a normal student. Talking about that, our class teacher must be wishing she would not get our class next year or the years to come. I don't blame her for being pissed off this morning when she came into the class and noticed we girls didn't do our duties. Honestly, there's certainly something wrong with our class, including me.

Today's English lesson was interesting though, she thought us about volcanic eruption and earthquakes. And guess why she started teaching us Geography? First, she came into class as usual, asking us to improve our vocabulary during the two months long holidays which I think is essential for me since my level of writing skill is still so dang low. Anyway, she told us most probably she'll be our Geography teacher next year, assuming if there's no new Geography teachers next year. Then she said we have to know our Form 1 & 2 Geography well if we want to score an A in PMR Geography next year. Then, she asked us what do we think of Geography, and the first thing that came out from my was, "boring..". Then, her expression was like she had a heart attack or something, she said Geography is about now, the things that are happening around us, unlike History which we study about dead people and the past and the whole class burst out laughing XD. Then she started telling how tsunami happened and our school was blessed to have been saved from it, which I feel blessed too. Then, she asked the class who wants to go home and find out about how earthquakes and volcanic eruptions happened. Then, she turned to me and said, "Deidre, can you do it?". And I have to do it. And I have finished it already, muahahahaha!

*sigh* *sigh* *sigh* and still...*sigh*
It seems that day by day, I have seen humans' ugliness. Don't know why, day by day, as I am growing up, people just seem to be getting more uglier and uglier, and I'm not saying their outside appearances, but inside. It seemed to me that as I'm growing up, I tend to get scolded for every mistake I do, even small tiny matters like forgetting to bring something for someone. Furthermore, I myself am getting pissed off for no reason at all. I don't know what has happened to the once happy life I own, maybe it's just my imagination, or maybe the pressure's too much and I'm under an illusion. Even my sighing has increased 110%. But, are there no hope for humans to be peaceful among each other anymore? Don't they know that conflicts and arguments can be avoided by being tolerant instead of fighting over for power and launching wars against the weak countries? Jealousy, is the worst sickness a human, male or female can get. With this sickness, people tend to hurt others because they are not satisfied with what they have. Although, we can't really blame them for having that sickness. For example, if a parent were to love and care for the youngest child more than the oldest child, surely the oldest child will feel neglected and therefore will turn to hate the family, even the parents and siblings. Here's a question though, why do humans always assume they are right regardless of where they get the information from? Why do humans always believe what they hear but never, for once, what they see? They make conclusions before even trying to investigate the truth behind a conflict or situation, regardless of who tells them. If only humans were patient enough to listen to the other side of the story, maybe life wouldn't be so bad, maybe wars would not exist. If greed never existed in humans, maybe plastics would not be invented and therefore save the environment. So many ifs, but, if life was peaceful and everyone being patient, wouldn't that be good?

Okay, since my blog have been very sad and awful and almost dying lately, I shall post a happy post today.

First thing, EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER PEOPLE!
But still have PMR next year...

Okay, secondly, I have noticed that I have funny nicknames recently and shall list it all out here!

Number One :
DayDream....
Nightmare...

Number Two:

Dory..

Yes, people, it's this Dory, who sings "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming"

Number three :

Chibi Maruko-chan

This is the Maruko-chan I was talking about? Do I honestly look like her?><

Number four:

Dipsy from...

From Teletubbies..Seriously, do I even look like them??

Number five:

Emmett from Twilight Saga!

Emmett Cullen cool right?

And so, there goes the list of my nicknames, I shall update when I have new ones again!

Distance makes the heart grows fonder, I do believe this phrase. Why you ask me? It is because I know how it feels like, it feels like a great great temptation to reach out my hands and just hug and kiss like nobody's business. But still, temptation as great as it is, there are still bricks and rocks to surpass in order to get to reach my hands freely. He tells me, too long and the heart forgets, well, I can't say anything can I?I can't deny that it's true, just like someone who wants something but in return will never be able to get it, but, in one condition, has to wait for a long time as long as eternity.Two person, blocked only by distance, and a stupid reason, will they ever be together forever? Will they ever get to be together? I don't know, and I want to know. If you had a choice, will you still choose to go on this path with me? Because life is so precious to all of us, and that's why I don't want you readers to regret not doing what you wanted to do, so from now on, as you read this post, I hope you all will do the right thing and follow your hearts.Do not leave with regrets.Because I never regret choosing this path ^^

One word...TORTURE

All I can say is, exams are a total torture to us students!And, as if exams are not torturing enough, guess who is also torturing us?*beep* *beep*...The answer is, T-E-A-C-H-E-R-S and P-A-R-E-N-T-S! Although there are parents who do not really force their children to get straight As, but, there are parents who are like that. Honestly, do they not know that As nowadays are so hard to get?Not to mention the subjects nowadays which are super hard and students have so many facts and information to memorize.Other than that, teachers do not even sympathize us students and set the paper as hard as they like.Then, they do what almost every teacher will do after setting the paper, they scare their students and tells them how hard it will be which is fake, for some though. Fortunately, there are teachers who are kind enough to somehow take a peak at the paper and help the students.Therefore, I sincerely thank all the teachers who have helped the students, including me of course by lessen the facts and all the other crap we have to memorize.

To all students who are taking PAT or taking PAT, good luck and may you all do your best!I'm panicking already!

TORTURE!

I totally hate Sejarah!Who the heck created this subject?!I totally 101% salute those PMR students who were able to score As in this horrible, vial, callous and cruel and mind-boggling subject.Furthermore, I too have to sit for PMR next year TT...Anyway, now my war is against PAT and MUST GET TO FIRST CLASS NEXT YEAR!Broke my records of never ever missing my beloved Taekwondo training, and now, have to study this horrible subject.

Yesterday was both heaven and hell to me, and I'll explain it in this blog XD

Okay, I woke up at 7 in the morning feeling SO sleepy coz' I slept late last night, as I always do on weekends.Anyway, followed dad to fetch mum to work and slept in the car, feeling sleepy when they stopped for mum to buy breakfast.Went back, took a bath and went to school to help with the kindy concert.Arrived there and saw Li Thyn and Theresa, guess what? Li Thyn HAS AN I-PHONE! Oh My God!So then, Vivien arrived., then Chandreena then Ayesha.Went to help my kindy teacher Miss Teh, and gosh, are the children cute!All my kindy memories kind of flashed back in my mind.Here are a few photos and videos I took at the concert, sorry if it's not clear though><..

Miss Teh's class, a.k.a. my class when I was 6 ^^.Me and Vivien helped Miss Teh.

Another view from the class, aren't the kids cute?

This is the comparison of the kids' toilet and the normal toilet, cute eh?

The kids outside the hall awaiting their turn to perform.

The kids outside the kindy before going to the hall

The MCs for the day



The kids singing..

And that was all for the performances, though there was still lots I did not take, anyway, it was a good memory helping the kids and all.

So after the tiring morning, went home at 12 something, took a bath, did some house chores and went to Inani's open house, the laksa was nice..
Had fun taking photos although met some little demons

First times..After a very long time...

Situation 1
A very long time, which was way back to Standard 6, when we had a fight, and finally, after 3 years, she finally talked to me, well, not exactly talk but still, she actually came to my place and asked me something.And I was stunned, didn't know how to respond, with everybody laughing.Oh well, I really did not expect this to happen, but at least, we spoke to each other...^^

Situation 2
At training tonight...
I was sitting beside my friend and suddenly, Sir Eddy called, wondering why, I walked to him and guess what he asked me to do?Become a referee for the kids' sparring.I went blank then, walked to the place where a pair of kids were, waiting eagerly for the sparring to start, with excitement written all over their faces.Then, Jason walked pass and kind of told me what to do, so I approach the kids and started commanding.Didn't even know which leg to put in front when I was commanding them to get ready, and my voice was so soft I think only me and the kids whom I am commanding can hear.
After my referee job, I just stood there waiting for the sparring to end.It was kind of fun, although all I had to do was command and then kind of like look at them to make sure they don't do anything wrong.It was weird though, me waiting for sir to say when I should stop the kids fighting and then there comes another pair.
Anyway, I did had fun!

Coming movies that is a MUST WATCH in my list..

THIS IS IT!i so can;t wait to watch it, hopefully I can get tickets cause it's only in cinemas for two weeks!Watched the trailer, fantastic movie! May the King of Pop stay alive in everyone's heart forever!

This movie is about this girl, who got possessed by a demon, and in order to continue living, she has to eat meat, which results in her killing high school boys. And Megan Fox is in it!

Alvin and The Chipmunks 2!There's even girls involve!

Twilight Saga : New Moon...

Everything seems to get from bad to worse nowadays.People whom I can trust seemed to just disappear and all that was left were demons who existed to make my life worse than I ever thought.A place where I once called my paradise and the place I belong, existed no more, all that left was a rotten hell filled with these demons, awaiting the chance to strike.However, among all these cruel, vial and callous demons, there are angels, angels whom help me when I needed them to.I am thankful that after all that I have to go through, there are still people who would help me and take me as a friend.Without you, I wouldn't have succeeded.Through this, I have learned to not simply trust anyone, and indeed I have found those who I can trust my life with.Thank you ^^