Truth or Lies?

Here's the fact that I have learned to accept, life, as it seemed, is never truly fair. No matter how much justice is done, things will still remain unfair. If a person is found guilty of raping someone, he is sentenced to death, or is canned. I don't think that will give the victim her virginity back will it? Therefore, like I said, life may seem to be fair, but the fact is, it never was and never will be.

Here's another fact I'd like to share. First impressions are vital, screw it and for the rest of your life you'll never be able to gain a person's trust. Why? Because people like so so much to judge the book by it's cover. They never even gave a chance to let a person prove themselves worthy. Instead, they jump to conclusions. Are they naive or simply are idiots? On a different note, most of us choose to believe based on what we are told, without even wanting to investigate the truth behind what we are told. What if it was not the truth? Are we going to be blinded by lies just because the person who tells us are so called 'friends'?

Thirdly, I have found the phrase, "people change" to be very true indeed. Within a year, so many people that I've once trusted turned their backs on me. Don't ask me why, because, truth is, I too wanna know why. They've changed, and when I say changed I meant 100% changed. I don't know them anymore. They've grown to be so hateful, so bossy, so ignorant, so arrogant, to sum it up, they've become assholes. I don't know, maybe they thought that with power, respect is gained. Well, guess what guys? You're all fucking wrong. Respect is gained, it's not something that you can have overnight. Because when you respect someone, without any hidden agendas, they will realize that. And in return, they respect you for who you truly are.

Besides the above mentioned, I now know why family and friends are important. And when I mentioned family and friends, I meant those who really understand you, not those who pretend to show their empathy and sympathy because they think it is their responsibility to do so. The more I grow up, the more I see with my own eyes, I'm beginning to feel that I am the black sheep. Loneliness is my greatest fear. Therefore, I'm the type of person who will never survive without a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen to my whining. Maybe I'm unfaithful, but have they ever thought, after all those years of working so so hard, do I not deserve a break? But no, they've decided to love him more than me. Then so be it. I have no rights to tell them which is which, they should know better. I'm not asking for more love, all I want is for them to see the truth and not be blinded by acts and lies.

Freedom, is what every child wants. Some want it because they want to do crazy wild things. But me, I await the day when I can finally start spreading my wings and fly on my own. Yes it's gonna be a pain the ass, but, I'll have to face the harsh world outside, it's just the matter of time. I await the day when I can finally free myself from this mental torture. If this is what God gave me to test my patience, then dear God, I have survived. I plead to You to bless me and all whom I love.

Hell

School just started for a week. Unfortunately, the signs were not showing good endings nor beginnings. Well I'm posting on one of those days when I wish time could just stop moving. It really is true that bitches exist. So does hypocrites and cheaters and liars.

Well guess what? I am not going to back down. Whatever shit you throw at me, I'll make sure I stand up and stare right into your eyes with pride and dignity. I refuse to be called a weakling, backing down and giving up to anything that blocks my path. I wanna be strong, and keep on getting stronger and I know it's not easy but I don't care. I REFUSE to back down.

2 weeks...Seemed like 2 days..

After all the joys on the last day of the 1st semester which was Teachers' Day celebration, once again, the routine of school days continue.

Of course, without denial, the past two weeks have been wonderful and bitter sweet. Got to attend two very rare outings with Mr. Professor. Had fun during trainings when all the adults were not around. Don't even know what's there to make a big deal off, not as if we were tongue bathing each other in public. I have to admit, the previous Saturday was truly a miracle. ^^

And of course, sweet often comes with bitterness too. Well a lot of things have happened for the past two weeks. From staying up late at night to sleeping and snoozing like a pig, got to web cam more often with my one and only honey, had fun during training partially thanks to the coming tournament. Also, let my mind wonder into the negative field and the highlights of the fortnight is quarrelling with an idiot that blames other people for his own mistakes.

I won't waste my time typing off about what happened. Don't wanna get upset again, especially on the last day of holiday. I've also learned that throughout life, the ones that have been bullied, which are the survivors will live longer than the bullies. Yes it may be bitter, it may be painful, it may be hard to stand up again. But when you do, you'll come to realize that you're much stronger and will always be getting stronger.

With tomorrow as the start of another new semester, I can only hope that I will achieve my goals and won't give up to the hands of pressure that's getting bigger day by day. I can only hope that the bitches and fuckers, teachers or students don't come barging in to my life thinking they know everything. I can only hope too that everything will get better.

May God bless you all and have a good day.

All I can say is, today is one of my worse days ever. Why?

1. Waited so long for a plate of wan tan mee for breakfast
2. Dragged the whole day doing nothing
3. Went to wash pictures but had to go 2nd time because the shop was not opened yet
4. Realized spare house keys were left at home
5. Got blamed for telling the truth
6. No uniform to wear instead borrowed from friend
7. Felt weird because I was the only one without complete uniform
8. Breaking training was not really good
9. Felt dumped
10. Arrived home to find out that mum fell asleep dad still working
11. Got accused for not knocking the door harder

There. A post.

Been awhile since I've updated. Seen a whole lot of people changed to people I don't even recognise anymore. It's either me or them. I guess it's true that people change after a period of time. You either change with the flow or die trying. Seeing faces upon faces which have masks on them, it's a wonder I can still remember who's who. What happened to the once joyous and happy friends I had? Or is it just me? People have become more serious, take things more seriously than they usually do, and as though their acting mature.

I miss everyone, I really do. I miss those times when we'll sit down and gossip away, not paying attention in class, I miss those times when we would stick to each other no matter where we go, no matter what we did. I truly miss all of those. But, as much as I miss them, they'll always only remain as my memories.

Holidays was never always the bright side of life. It's either filled with continuous hang outs or staying at home and being bored to tears. Being alone, having nothing to think of, gives me the space for my mind to wonder. Wonder through fantasies, possibilities and situations that might or might not happen. It also allows me to be more emotional, being paranoid and thinking things which are not true.

Sometimes, I rather be occupied with work, so the mind does not wonder. But when I'm at school, there are so many bitches and problems to deal with. So instead, I shut them all out of my world. Being the person I always was, I am strictly afraid of loneliness. However, I feel that most of the time. Sure, I get along with certain people. Sure, I laugh my ass off with them. But, after all of that ends, I'm alone again. When I'm in trouble, not many lend their helping hands. If so, they were told to. Well, I don't need people like that. I can fend for myself.

Adios folks.