abysmal

I've been monopolized people. By what you may ask? Before I continue, I apologized in advance on the harsh words I'm gonna use.

Ok,let's start again.

I've been monopolized. Fucking monopolized. AND I DO NOT LIKE THAT. IT'S MINE NOT YOURS FUCKING IDIOT! MINE! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ENGLISH? CAN'T YOU FUCKING OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND ASK FOR MY PERMISSION BEFORE YOU SAVE ANYTHING? CAN'T YOU?! WHAT'S INSIDE YOUR FUCKING BIG MOUTH? GOLD THAT YOU STOLE?

THE NETBOOK IS FUCKING MINE. AND I DO NOT MEAN TO BE SELFISH, BUT WHY CAN'T I HAVE MY OWN PRIVACY? FIRST, I TRUSTED YOU AND HOW DID U FUCKING REPAY ME? BY THREATENING TO EXPOSE ME! IS THAT THE WAY A BROTHER WOULD REPAY HIS SISTER? I FUCKING DON'T THINK SO.

YOU SUCK. YOU MESSED UP MY LIFE. WHENEVER YOU WANT THINGS FROM ME, YOU ACT ALL ANGELIC WITH YOUR FUCKING PUPPY EYES. WELL YOUR NOT! YOU STINKING ABYSMAL!

I'LL SURVIVE ON MY OWN, AND I'LL STAND ON MY GROUND. I DON'T NEED YOU IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT. I'LL DISAPPEAR FROM YOUR SIGHT, WHEN I HAVE THE CHANCE, I'M GONNA FUCKING TAKE IT.

IF YOU WANT A FIGHT, I'LL GIVE YOU ONE. I'M SICK OF BEING ALL PITIFUL AND SYMPATHETIC TO U AND NOT GET ANYTHING BACK. I'M SICK OF IT.

Doesn't mean I don't do what you want meant I don't love you. I do, in my own way

Mission Impossible!

Good evening my fellow readers. How are you all doing? Life's been really hectic nowadays in my world. Firstly, today was one of those days that everything seems to be in a blur, the whole day...

And guess what people? Miss Soorya wore a saree! Probably and because it's Thaipusam. As you people realized, I called her by her PROPER name. Well people, it's been a tiring day and all, and hating her adds the tireness to myself. Thus, I'm going to try not to hate her anymore. But...as you all know, IT IS WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY HARDER THAN I THOUGHT! Why? Because, evrytime I wanna like her, she'll definately 101% do some shit to piss me off! So, as you can see, it is a MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!

Seriously do not know what to update, one of the days when I finished my homework. A miracle people! Anyway, arm is hurting like hell because of the heat, stop global warming people! Getting more and more blur lately, and the relationship between miss soya bean and me ain't gonna turn out good.

Whatever it is, I WANNA QUIT BOP! Just a thought, cause I JUST CAN"T FUCKING STAND THE ATTITUDE OF THE TEACHERS NOWADAYS! Thinks they're the masters and we're the slaves. Do you people see any chains on us?! Hello! Wake up people wake up! Another thing, yes, I have indeed heard that us prefects, the role model of the school should refrain ourselves from saying the four-letter word in public. But, sorry, sometimes I just can't control myself.

As if we prefects have not gone through enough pressure, the old hag make us wear our uniforms on every Wednesday and change during our meetings! Urgh! And the reason? Because SHE can't recognize us prefects. Ever heard of name tags?

23rd of January 2010

23rd of January 2010, a memorable day indeed. First, met a friend at my school, then, God must have blessed 3 Ungu, when the headmistress entered our classroom and questioned us about our form teacher, whom I call, Soya Bean Prataa bla bla. Having confessed everything that has been kept inside too long, we cheered and hoped for the best. A big thank you and cheers to Phooi Yuee jie and her mum for speaking the matter out.

Next, 23rd was the day where two person showed their affection to each other. Went out with my "family" and had a REAL break for the first time since prefect's life and 3Ungu life started. Truly had fun and let my hair down, although there was a bit things that have been noted down forever.
Thank God for the wonderful day and hope such opportunities will come again in the future. As I was told, things that happened before will happen again ^.^

Ta Daa!

Today, marks an auspicious and memorable day. 19th January 2010, the last day I will be wearing my school uniform and remain my title as a pupil.

After that...

It's hello prefect's life...Full with a whole new lot of shit, trials and tribulations.

So, as a farewell, I'll post my journey of my uniform transformation in this post!



From this....



TO......



and.....




FINALLY...THIS!





And that is the end of the transformation..

Therefore, ADIOS to my lovely school uniforms!

I don't belong..

I never felt like I belong anywhere, it's always been like that since I was a kid. I was a total outcast and perhaps, to some people, a disgrace. I've never live up to expectations, be it mine or others. That is my world, sure I'm surrounded by friends, friends who are so rare and people who care for me and loved me.

Yes, you may say I'm selfish, because some people do not even have a proper place they can call home. But, wherever I go, there's always times when I feel left out. I do admit, I'm fragile and sensitive, it's just the way I am.

Put all that aside, to me, life means so much more than kicking and punching. But, this...
Is where I grew up. It used to mean everything to me. My passion, my world, my life. Till now, the passion I once had, just disappeared.

Like I said, life is more than that. My world perhaps, belong with nature. I see beauty in nature, not only wildlife but Mother Earth.

Sure, martial arts has it's own beauty, that I will not deny, but, knowing I have failed in it, how could I stand up again? I'm tired for not deserving the treatment I deserve. I don't even know how to express my feelings.

Or maybe it's just the mother fucker who thinks he can say whatever shit he wants. The higher and the better I got, the more pressure I get from others. And the pressure cooker keeps getting higher, when will it explode I don't know. But when it does, I don't know what I'll do to fix it.

I'm not myself anymore, I barely know what I want in life. It suck so much I just wanna throw it all away. But faith, hope, and strength kept me alive, to fight with all my might before I fall.

Will I ever find a place where I belong? Or am I already there but too blind to see it?

Life is about making the right decisions and choosing the path you want to follow, whether it is wrong or right. It's like a maze, you're in a mist, and what you get depends on what path you choose. You gotta be brave, have faith and trust your heart to follow the path you have chosen. Of course, we learn from mistakes, but, some mistakes have no turning backs. And therefore, I have always learned things the hard way.

The strong and outspoken ones have always survived the hardships that life throws at them, leaving the weaker ones to lick their wounds and left behind. It's still a tough thing to listen to both my heart and mind. But I do know that knowing you was one of the most amazing things that have ever happened to me.

How could I be so blind to not notice how much you love me? You were always there when I needed someone, you pulled the brakes just so I would not be the one left behind, it was always you who has always been making life a better place to live for me.
And I repay you with nothing but ignorance and childishness. I ripped your heart out without knowing it, and for that, I truly am sorry.

But, like you, I'm tired. Tired of all the unreasonable obstacles life throws at us. Yet, deep inside, I know this is a test, a test to show that we are strong together. And for that, I will not give up. For that, I will always be strong, for us.

However, I can't always be strong, that I hope you understand. A lot of things have been in my mind, things that made me forget you, therefore, do not feel the way you are feeling for me. But trust me, when that feeling comes, I do feel it, let be sadness or happiness, I feel it.

Therefore, I apologized for ignoring and turning my back on you.

I'm not strong, it's not true...

Am I strong? I've always wanted to be strong, not only physically, but mentally. Some of my friends says I'm tough, just because I train martial arts. Unfortunately, I don't believe so. I may be strong, just maybe, but deep inside, I know I'm sensitive, selfish and irrational. Why?

Firstly, I can't stand people talking about me, number one mistake, too sensitive. I've always wondered, why must I take it so seriously what people say about me? Why can't I just chill like I've always told people to and forget it? I guess I'm just sensitive and paranoid.

Secondly, I get on my own nerves for no reason, or sometimes, stupid irrational reasons. Then when I think of it, I'm just a selfish and irrational brat after all.

I don't know what's wrong with me, I just know that if I keep behaving like this, I'm afraid I won't know who I am anymore, nor will my friends know.

Maybe it's just the pressure, maybe it's just the fucking fat ass bitch form teacher, I don't know.

But, face it, I'm not strong..I never was..

The Worst Teacher Awards goes to...

Hello people! This post is dedicated specially to my fellow classmates. In order to release our tension, I have created The Worst Teacher Awards!

And the winner goes to...*drum roll*
SRY Prataa people! Everyone throw your rotten eggs! As you can see, I don't know with you guys, but she has pass the extend of being a total disaster.

1) She looks down on prefects and practically detest us prefects.
2) She likes colors, what a douche bag and therefore, made us color our books.
3) Her favorite probably is red and yellow.
4) Because of her, our class deco looks like shit, cause its brownish yellow.
5) Hates black and said its boring when black means everything to me.
6) Thinks her subject is the only one that is important therefore, nags us.
7) Wants us to be perfect when that is impossible. Don't you know nobody's perfect bitch?
8) Probably is torturing us just because she's a spinster and nobody wants her.
9) Wears a mini skirt when she's not fit for that at all.
10) Can't even accept our ways of ticking.

I can go on and on about her but I won't because it's too much. To my fellow classmates, let us show the old hag that we are not that easy to be stepped on! Adios folks!

2010

Sorry I haven't been updating my blog, been busy with school and of course, I can't really afford to leisure around anymore, although I still do that.

So, 4th January 2010, was a beginning of a new life and a new chapter at school. Of course, the pressure is high, both from teachers and parents. I can say almost all the teachers who entered our class wants us to achieve more.
As usual, our form teacher, is also our English teacher. And also as usual, she is our personal hell, along with another airhead teacher who rule the school. 10 years of studying, it was my first time being told to draw and color the cover of my English books. And yes, it is a disgrace to me, oh my dear lovely books!
First day of school, homework started filling in piles and piles. Gladly, we had the same teacher for Science three years in a row!

5th January 2010
Second day of school was as much the same as the first, homework spilling in as usual, the pressure cooker going higher.

And 6th January 2010
Which is today, again homework spilled in as usual. A thing I have to accept from now on.
At night...
Training was as usual, just that Sir Eddy was absent. So Johnson conduct the class instead. His classes were always "interesting" compared to Sire Eddy's, which is his way of pushing us to our maximum level.
We had sparring again, I decided to partner with Kor. Halfway through the sparring, me sucking as usual, Kor's leg injury occurred again. Though I know it's not my fault, I can't help feeling guilty for what happened. Maybe if it was not me who has sparred with him, this could not have happened.

So to sum it up, the last three days had been a living hell, it was as if school's my personal Dante's Inferno or something. And, I seriously hope I live up to my expectations. As for training, I just hope I can get better.

Adios...

Annual dinner

Function : Annual dinner
Venue : Tambun
Time : 8.30 p.m. - 10.00 p.m.
Date : 2nd January, 2010

Dinner was not as bad as I had imagined after all. We had 15 dishes of seafood, a lot I know. Everyone practically stuffed themselves. Good news was, the kids who sat at our table had big appetites, so we ended up the first table to finish the first few dishes.

After dinner, it was dessert time! We had a 6kg cake which I shall assume either a black forest or chocolate mint. It was fantastic!

Fantastic isn't it?

And there you have it, the annual dinner of the Penang United Taekwondo Society. Adios folks!

A new post, A new year..

Since most of my posts are all very very negative, I shall rewrite my post for 1st of January 2010. As you see, my first post of the year 2010 is not a good one too.

1st January 2010, 12.00 a.m.
As I was feeling rather down at that time, sitting on my bed, leaning against my bedroom wall, all of a sudden, as the clock strike twelve, people started shouting " Happy New Year! ". Then, all of a sudden, the fireworks just exploded, right in front of my eyes. I could not describe how I felt that time. Watching that, a smile spread across my face, smouldering my anger and I could feel it melting away as my heart welcomed the new year.
It is a miracle how certain things can make you smile no matter how bad your temper was at that moment, or no matter how sad you were. As I watch the fireworks, it was as if it was meant for me. And that people, I felt blessed.
So, once again, a very happy new year to you folks!
Adios!

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

I can be sure that to girls, their best friend is shopping. For me, shopping is a personal fucking hell. I am clearly aware of who I am, but hearing people spit it out in to my face hurts more than anything in the whole world. Maybe I'm just being sensitive, but, take my word, I'll NEVER EVER be a girl.

See those nice dresses? Ya, I'll never be one of those pretty pretty ladies who wore one of those. So, today, Mum and Dad dragged me to buy CNY clothes. As usual, every year, I would end up in a bad mood, and same too for this year. I decided to change and buy a tank top, tried it on, and turned out I'm just too ugly for one. See, first failure. Secondly, Mum dragged me to a fucking shop and this bitch actually told me and Mum that I was short. So I tried dress after dress, one that look like I'm pregnant. So, I stormed out of that shop, cursing it along. Next, another round of dresses. And the Lord must be joking with me, turns out none of it fits me. So, there, a summary of what a horrible fucking day I had.
I sincerely apologize for using swear words, but hey, I don't give a damn in the world right now. Lastly, I'm not even a girl, I'm a boy, oh yes I am. I'll never be one of those girls with slim bodies, nice curves and slender legs. You know why? Cause I don't have any fucking will to force myself to lose weight. So there you have it, a fucking bitch complaining what a horrible fucking day she has had which is all the while her fucking fault.
Have a nice New Year everyone.