Home?

What is a home? A home to most people is somewhere where they feel protected and save. A place where they feel loved and cared for. My home used to be like this. It used to be the place I felt secure the most, used to be the place I turn to when reality was simply just too cruel to be faced. Sadly, recent turn of events have changed that. My home is now but an empty shell, a place where I only spend my time in, no more and no less than that. It seems like all I do is cause misery and anger in this so called home of mine. Yes, I have even been accused of causing problems in a marriage. How would you handle that? If someone's marriage was in ruins and on the brink of disaster and instead of blaming themselves, they blame you. And that's not even the worst. What is worse is that person is someone who used to love you. I've been told that everything in this world is all but a loan to us, that we came to this world with nothing and will also leave this world with nothing. So in the end, it's just a loan. Well fine then, I'll leave this 'home' of mine when I have the chance. I'm sorry if I even instil the thought that I'm the third party in your marriage in you head. But fear not, I shall leave. But when I leave, you can be damn sure I'm never turning my back. I'm off to make my own home and I never want to be like you.

I give up.

In my previous post I talked about a couple who broke up after 5 long years together. Well I've been trying my best to be a good friend to one of them. I listened and give advice I thought were useful. As time passes, I thought he was healing from time to time. But it turns out that he was sinking a little bit deeper into self pity. I refuse to be negative and go on encouraging him. But now, it's just too much to take. I'm tired of being the optimistic one. After all, I'm just a friend, I'm no fairy godmother. I believe life is about holding fate in our own hands. We decide how our life turns out. Nobody else, but us. So if someone helps you and you refuse to help yourself, then there's nothing much to do to get back on your feet.