Oblivion is after all, inevitable.

A lot of changed in my life these past few months. Of course, considering the fact that fate thinks its funny to set upon me this great tragedy in the time where I was just about to start exploring the world. Then again, all heroes have a tragedy don't they?

Sadly, I've come to realise that no matter how big a part something can be in your life, eventually, when you stop being important or significant, you'll be forgotten. Sure people might mention you once in awhile, but, sooner or later, you'll just be a fraction of their memories, or worse, maybe even not and you'll be totally forgotten.

I never thought it'll have such a great impact on me. I used to think I was a part of this one big family where we share the same passion. But, as soon as I disappear, so does my reputation. I guess it's partly my fault that I didn't put any effort in being a part of the family even though I'm no longer involved. But it does still hurt knowing that you'll just be wiped off just because you aren't a part of something anymore.

So, I guess what I'm tying to say is, as true as it is in one of my favourite novels, oblivion IS inevitable..

Perhaps it's time to let go?

Maybe...

Life gets more complicated as we move on further in life. It is as though the difficulty level of the game of life is set a notch higher as each day pass, like playing a game as you pass level by level, one step after another, each more difficult than the last, except that this game of life has not only one evil boss to defeat but several or rather, sometimes, never ending.

I do believe that what matters is not the challenges that we face each passing day, but rather the things that we learn from them, the memories, let it be happy or sad that we gain from them, the experiences that makes us a little bit tougher and maybe the most important of them all, the people that we meet along the way.

Well, people always say, no pain no gain. True as it may seem, sometimes we should just step things down a notch and relax. But of course, every single one of us faces the devil within, and by that I mean the little inner demon that I would like to call, STRESS. But does it mean that we should let it stop us from growing or from achieving more? Of course not! Everybody deals with stress diffrently in their own different ways, but that doesn't mean you should just give up and hide in a corner and cry and admit defeat. What about those who want to achieve more but can't because they're stopped by things like long term ailment?

On a second note, I've come to realise that being in a relationship isn't always lovey dovey and filled with never-ending sweet moments of romance. Or does it? Sometimes I wonder is it just me expecting too much? Or is it simply that maybe, just, maybe, you'll somehow be a better and happier person without me by your side. Like someone once said, "if you love a flower, let it be, don't pluck it or it'll die". Perhaps it's time I do the same too? Would my absence bring more happiness and less stress to you? If one day, it does, I will leave, even if it kills me, because nothing matters more than seeing that smile on your face again.

Selfless or Selfish?

Being selfless is such a difficult thing to achieve most of the time. You try to suppress all your feelings and doubts and troubles so you that you don't make others worry and weary more than they already are. But, sometimes I wonder, how long can one hold and suppress themselves and plaster on a smile before they break down and fall apart like everyone else?

Does being selfish and wanting someone else to be selfless instead a selfish thing to wish for? Or worse, what if you find out that deep down, the reason why they are so weary is because of you yourself? What if you were the cause of it and everything would be better if you just disappeared?

Is it ever possible to be selfless and selfish at the same time?

Turning 19.

Alas I turn 19, and not denying the fact that I do feel a little sad that it'll be the last time the digit 1 appears in front of my age. Nevertheless, as miserable as it is that it falls on a Monday and having to stay in college to learn about the ways of the traditional Chinese game, it wasn't really a bad day after all. My day was definitely made brighter by wishes from dear friends, even those whom I don't know well, God bless them for making my day brighter. Then there was the bunch of cutie pies puppies that made my day. Those cuddly creatures are sure cute! Not to forget dinner with my hubby bear, thank you dear for spending time with me on this special occasion. And the day was ended with a late steamboat dinner with the family. All in all, it wasn't such a bad birthday after all and thanks to everyone who made my day. :3

Just a random quick post, can't believe I purchased these babies today! I'm a happy girl! :D

Yet another semester has flew by just like that. First time experiencing a short semester was certainly interesting and exciting, although the first time being ill during a final exam was not something to be proud of. I can't deny the greatest relief was being able to heave off the burden of becoming the class representative, as much as I would love to be the leader, I guess it was time I learn to sit back and take life a bit easier. So much for wanting to be on the top, I guess sometimes no matter how big our ambitions are, we shouldn't forget to stop and take a breather and enjoy the simpler things in life that we have took for granted.

College life certainly wasn't made easier with the sickness that has chose to be my company for eternity, with those stares that 'normal' people give as you walk by. Luckily, I was blessed by companions who were by my side through thick and thin, to them I am eternally grateful for accepting me for who I am. Too much drama has happened ever since we've entered college and I truly am grateful to have them by my side.

I guess you could say these few weeks were certainly not the best of the weeks. But I guess that's just life isn't it, with its own ups and downs and unexpected surprises and challenges. Guess that's what's makes it more exciting.

I just hope I'm strong enough to brave this storm that I'm in.