Perhaps it's time to let go?

Maybe...

Life gets more complicated as we move on further in life. It is as though the difficulty level of the game of life is set a notch higher as each day pass, like playing a game as you pass level by level, one step after another, each more difficult than the last, except that this game of life has not only one evil boss to defeat but several or rather, sometimes, never ending.

I do believe that what matters is not the challenges that we face each passing day, but rather the things that we learn from them, the memories, let it be happy or sad that we gain from them, the experiences that makes us a little bit tougher and maybe the most important of them all, the people that we meet along the way.

Well, people always say, no pain no gain. True as it may seem, sometimes we should just step things down a notch and relax. But of course, every single one of us faces the devil within, and by that I mean the little inner demon that I would like to call, STRESS. But does it mean that we should let it stop us from growing or from achieving more? Of course not! Everybody deals with stress diffrently in their own different ways, but that doesn't mean you should just give up and hide in a corner and cry and admit defeat. What about those who want to achieve more but can't because they're stopped by things like long term ailment?

On a second note, I've come to realise that being in a relationship isn't always lovey dovey and filled with never-ending sweet moments of romance. Or does it? Sometimes I wonder is it just me expecting too much? Or is it simply that maybe, just, maybe, you'll somehow be a better and happier person without me by your side. Like someone once said, "if you love a flower, let it be, don't pluck it or it'll die". Perhaps it's time I do the same too? Would my absence bring more happiness and less stress to you? If one day, it does, I will leave, even if it kills me, because nothing matters more than seeing that smile on your face again.

Selfless or Selfish?

Being selfless is such a difficult thing to achieve most of the time. You try to suppress all your feelings and doubts and troubles so you that you don't make others worry and weary more than they already are. But, sometimes I wonder, how long can one hold and suppress themselves and plaster on a smile before they break down and fall apart like everyone else?

Does being selfish and wanting someone else to be selfless instead a selfish thing to wish for? Or worse, what if you find out that deep down, the reason why they are so weary is because of you yourself? What if you were the cause of it and everything would be better if you just disappeared?

Is it ever possible to be selfless and selfish at the same time?

Turning 19.

Alas I turn 19, and not denying the fact that I do feel a little sad that it'll be the last time the digit 1 appears in front of my age. Nevertheless, as miserable as it is that it falls on a Monday and having to stay in college to learn about the ways of the traditional Chinese game, it wasn't really a bad day after all. My day was definitely made brighter by wishes from dear friends, even those whom I don't know well, God bless them for making my day brighter. Then there was the bunch of cutie pies puppies that made my day. Those cuddly creatures are sure cute! Not to forget dinner with my hubby bear, thank you dear for spending time with me on this special occasion. And the day was ended with a late steamboat dinner with the family. All in all, it wasn't such a bad birthday after all and thanks to everyone who made my day. :3

Just a random quick post, can't believe I purchased these babies today! I'm a happy girl! :D

Yet another semester has flew by just like that. First time experiencing a short semester was certainly interesting and exciting, although the first time being ill during a final exam was not something to be proud of. I can't deny the greatest relief was being able to heave off the burden of becoming the class representative, as much as I would love to be the leader, I guess it was time I learn to sit back and take life a bit easier. So much for wanting to be on the top, I guess sometimes no matter how big our ambitions are, we shouldn't forget to stop and take a breather and enjoy the simpler things in life that we have took for granted.

College life certainly wasn't made easier with the sickness that has chose to be my company for eternity, with those stares that 'normal' people give as you walk by. Luckily, I was blessed by companions who were by my side through thick and thin, to them I am eternally grateful for accepting me for who I am. Too much drama has happened ever since we've entered college and I truly am grateful to have them by my side.

I guess you could say these few weeks were certainly not the best of the weeks. But I guess that's just life isn't it, with its own ups and downs and unexpected surprises and challenges. Guess that's what's makes it more exciting.

I just hope I'm strong enough to brave this storm that I'm in.

If Only

So, being a bit nostalgic and was thinking back about the people who have walked in and out of my life, and those who have stayed with me till now. It's funny how much life has changed me, I've learnt to be more relaxed (I guess I did) and to not ponder too much on others' opinion. After all, we can't please everyone we meet.

Well, thinking back and recalling, I can't help but to think of you, my friend. And whether you will come across this post of mine someday I shall leave that in the hands of God. I've known you since we were 7 (If I'm not mistaken) but we weren't very close then, just mere acquaintances who happened to be in the same classroom. Then when we were 9 we got to know each other better. Never shall I forget all those silly things that we have gone through, making up origami and not to forget the famous rubber dust back then. The worst thing was getting caught and having to throw our "treasures"  away. Remember how much it broke our hearts girl?

Things got even better as we grew up, we were the best of pals and even though at times we may become distant from each other, I knew I could always rely on you whenever I needed a friend and that you'll always have my back. Then came secondary and we got even closer, meeting new friends along the way and forming a group of our own. Not long after we were all a happy family, we relied on each other and had fun times and bad times together. Although we may have conflicts among ourselves, but family was family and we stuck with each other through thick and thin. Those girls' nights shall always be part of the sweet memories in my life.

Ah how I miss those days. Perhaps it was tragic, perhaps it was not, but the time came and the tide changed, soon enough you were becoming more and more of a stranger to me, or perhaps to our family as well. It's a choice you made and I would not hate you for that for it is your life. As time goes by, it saddens me that we have became strangers.

The day then came when you chose to leave us and that was the end. Now, thinking back, I wished things could be different. Yes, I admit it. As much as we have hurt each other, I've missed you. I miss the times when we would gossip about crushes. I missed those times when we would just sit down and giggle over girl talk sessions. I miss those times when we did our revision together but ended up chatting instead. I missed those times when we shared our darkest and most embarrassing secrets. But most of all, I miss having you as my friend girl.

So, if only things could have been different.