Yet, another new year.

First of all, Happy New Year to any of you who are still reading my blog! May this year be a better one than last year.

Well, first off, 2015 has definitely been a heck of a ride, what with finally graduating from 2 gruesome years of diploma in a place that makes you feel that if you don't belong, then you never will. Well, as happy as I am that I have left that godforsaken place, can't help but miss the acquaintances I've made while I was there. The year then continued to having to make a decision on which path I should choose to further my studies, and I really hope I've chosen the right one. Well, I guess the toughest part of 2015 was the time when I had to be admitted into the hospital, not only was it a terrible place to recuperate, I had also missed the exams, thus, slowing my progress. 

On the other hand, I can't believe how fast time has past and we've been together for 6 years now my dear. I really am truly blessed to have you in my life through thick and thin. I know we don't always see eye to eye at times and we do sometimes bicker, but I'm glad we could always resolve them. I'm really sorry if I ruined your days with my sudden outbursts of anger, when I interrupt you while you were talking. I've always wondered how much more of me that you can take before you put your foot down and say enough is enough and that you don't want any part of this anymore. As much as I hope that that doesn't happen, I do wish sometimes that we hadn't met at all, maybe then you wouldn't have had to bear the burden that was not meant for you. I truly am grateful that we've found each other in this lifetime. Here's to hoping that we'll survive whatever bumps the road ahead has, and thank you my dear, for sticking by me through it all, even when I'm being difficult, you never turned your back on me even though you're not in the best shape, I only wish I can be as patient as you are. 

First Test Drive...EVER

So, this weekend was one that was more adventurous and exciting!

Well, firstly, I'll start you readers (that is if I ACTUALLY have any) with the bad news, because hey, I like to leave the best for last.

So, having been a fan of Wongfu (WONGFU FOR LIFE!) recently, I was more than happy and excited that they were going on tour to screen their movie and one of the places that they were coming was here, well not here in Penang exactly, but in Kuala Lumpur. But, 'fortunately' for me, I'm not allowed to go, because some people just think they can abuse their authority just because they have the authority to do so and because they know there's eventually nothing you can do about it.

Well, moving to the brighter side of things, today, after pushing someone to go request for a test drive because he wanted to but was not sure if he dared, my first EVER test drive, although I was in the back seat, was THE BEST EXPERIENCE EVER. And it wasn't because it was my first time experiencing a test drive, it was because... *drum roll* we tested the BMW 328i M Sport.

All I can say was, the car is amazeballs. It was solid, the features was great, and the sport mode, AMAZING.

What a wonderful and amazing way to end the weekend and although doesn't change the situation I'm in, it was definitely an uplifter.



Here's the bad boy we tested, well not exactly this car but this model. XD

Hey there lil tyke, I'm so sorry that I couldn't see you and pet you one last time before you left for a better place. Rest well ok little fluff, for at least I know you're in a better place now, free from any suffering and pain. I'll miss you Pusheen. :'( :'( :'(

I'm a happy girl ^.^

Just wanted to update about the big husky that I sorta got as a gift from him. ❤❤ It was supposed to be given to one of our friend as her birthday present but seeing that I loved it so much he decided to give me instead as present. So, we ended up buying another soft toy for her instead, which turned out to become one of our friend's favourite too :-))

Well, I just wanted to say how happy I am that I got to keep the husky. Thank you so so much love.

The devil in disguise

I can bet every one of you has someone that you just cannot deal with most of the time. Yeah, sure once or twice you might force yourself to put up with them, or once in a blue blue moon you might even share a laughter with them. But, most of the time, they make you want to rip your hair out just by looking at them.

Well for me, it was none other than my very own sibling, which for the purpose of this post, I shall refer to as D. 

You see, the seed of hatred did not just blossomed over a day, the seed was implanted deep within me ever since I was a child. Why you may ask? The answer to that will probably take forever to fulfill, I could fill endless pages with why I despise D so much. But, as a summary, among other things such as the never ending fights and quarrels we got into when we were under the care of our grandparents as our parents were off making a living, I have been scarred very, very, VERY deeply by D. I'm sure those who are close to me know what I mean. 

As a kid, I've learnt to just live with it, bottling up my fears and hatred deep inside me because I was afraid of telling my parents, in fear that they would call me a liar, which, later in life, they did when I finally cooked up the courage to confess. I don't think  I can ever forget how disappointed I was by their reaction. 

It was then that I realised I was alone in this. And to make matters worse, this seed of hatred just grows bigger and bigger as days go by. 

I've tried to heed the advice of those who say I should just forgive and forget, but to those people, the only thing that I can say to them is, if you have never been through what I have, then you have absolutely no fucking right to tell me to just forgive and forget. 

I've thought long and hard about how unfair it is that I have to be the one to carry the burden of this painful memory whilst D was free of it. 

Whenever I see his face, even without him speaking or doing anything, I would just be boiling inside, like a volcano waiting to explode for no apparent reason.

I do hope that I could forgive and forget sometimes, but I guess I'm just that stubborn and vengeful huh?

Been hella a few weeks.

 This past few weeks were truly a journey that were filled with much emotions.

Started the month with hanging out with friends who I have known for as long as 14 years, including one who recently came back from the land of the gingers for her holidays, even though someone said she won't be planning to come back. Nevertheless, it was good to see you again old friend.

So, started out our hang out by having dim sum together at Bali Hai, which up until then I never knew served dim sum in the morning. Six of us turned up despite the original plan being seven of us as one of them decided to take a rain cheque as she couldn't wake up. The food was decent at a reasonable price, but, I guess food tastes better when you have a greater company to enjoy it with. Anyways, what was originally only a dim sum meet up turned into a horror movie date. "Best" 9 bucks I've spent for covering my eyes through the entire show.

Ended the day after lunch with a cheers to many more years of friendship. After that, continued the day with dinner with my darling hubby bear as well as a long time friend who has been like a big sister to me since I was in primary. 

                          

A few days passed and had another hang out with a slightly different bunch of people, partly also a farewell for the said friend who took a rain cheque.

A few days later had one last lunch date and it was sending her off to the airport. Although we promised we wouldn't break down, but we couldn't battle the fight and at last ended the send off in tears. I'll miss you when you're gone Carmen, take care and have fun in the US alright? And take good care of Xiao Dre. 

After that, it was movie time again, the long awaited movie for me and my darling, Inside Out! The movie was amazingly done, although it did made us emotional at most parts. Do I look like Sadness? :P

Started the last week of August with a hang out with some of my dearest friends from college during my diploma years, nothing's more fun and entertaining than just sitting down and chatting while time flies by. It was also one of the few meet ups hat we could manage before the little one on the left leaves for Ireland to continue her studies and if luck allows, start her career there.

The time then came again to 'send off' Vivien to  ginger land. And I certainly can't describe how glad I was that it ended in laughter instead of in tears, then again, with most of the day involving all of us giving life advice to one of our friends who was constantly being tormented by us, especially me on that occasion. On that note, have fun and take care the rest of the time you're there laddie! I'll see ya soon when you're back here again!

                 

Spent the last remaining days at the pot luck dinner held at sir's house, overall being a success, plenty of food, plenty of people, super noisy kids who eventually got shushed by buaya because they were disturbing mini buaya who was in a cradle.   

September comes and it's time to wake up. 

Started off the month by having a supposedly farewell gathering for the little one who we are all going to miss her most for her bubbly personality that can cheer you up whenever you're with her. 

We then met a few days later where we could just hang and talk all day, cherishing the last few moments where we could hang out before parting ways with Jessica. Gonna miss you when you're gone my little friend, take care of yourself in Ireland alright?

After saying our goodbyes, it was time to celebrate the special day of hubby bear. Been together with him for 6 years and man, honestly, I never thought I'd be so lucky to have met someone like you my dear. I don't think there are any words to express how grateful and blessed I am to still have you by my side even though after you found out that I'm sick. Thanks so much for sticking by my side all this while honey. And thanks for the treat at TGIF even though it was your special day. Hope you like the giant Pepero that I got you, hehe. 

              

 

Well, that about sums up the few weeks so far. Sorry for the long post, here's a potato. Have a nice day folks. =)

Compromise.

I've heard and read that if you want a relationship to work, you gotta compromise. I never really knew how difficult compromising was, never thought it could be so tiring and  certainly never thought the amount of of patience needed to do it.

You see, when you're at the start of your relationship, it's all rainbows and butterflies and hugs and kisses. You're so content with the cloud of happiness and bliss that you're in and you think to yourself, wow I'm the luckiest and happiest person.

Now fast forward to a few years later, how many of you are still in the same relationship? How many of you actually had the balls or rather, the patience to say or admit that you're wrong,  even if you're not, just for the sake of ending a silly argument? How many of you actually worked things out when things turned sour instead of walking out on the cloud of bliss that you once thought you shared with your significant other? How many of you actually had the guts to swallow your pride because you know that if you just sit this one out instead of exploding it'll all be over soon?

My point is, I've come to realise how difficult it is to maintain a relationship. And every jab that I've received, regardless of if he knew what he said was actually hurting my feelings, I've learned to sorta live with it and  just sit it out instead of shouting like a maniac and starting a war.

Why? It's not because I'm scared of him or anything, it's because at the end of the day, when we take care of each other when one of us is sick, or when we comfort one another when the other is upset, or when we spend the whole day not talking but embracing each other, all the things that went wrong will seem so petty and I'll be wondering why I cared so much about it in the first place.

And that is why we compromise.