Is this what reality is?

I thought my days was finally getting better, I thought they were starting to leave me alone, but, I was wrong. I was beyond glad that one of the 'guardians' was finally gone, leaving me with only two. But, all of a sudden, she came back tonight. Why must she? To spy on me again? Is it fun? Spying on other people when it's none of your business, telling it to someone else then making that someone reach rock bottom. Why must you people do this to me? All I ask for was a little freedom, is it that hard? I agree I have agreed with what you people said when I was younger, but I grew up, and I know what I'm doing. Can't you all just give me a chance to prove to you people that I can manage my own life? Is it so hard to accept the fact that I have grown up and want to start being independent? Maybe I'm not a mother and I don't understand what you people feel, but, don't we all have to let go of our kids when their growing up even if it's the hardest thing to do? This life, is filled with so many amazing things that's waiting to be discovered, why can't you give me a chance to discover it? I'm strong, I know how to stand up if I fall, I want to fly with my own wings, take risks and just have fun. Is it that hard for you people to understand?

I can still recall how amazing it was to feel like a new born champion. The cheers, the compliments, the respect, yes, all of that is amazing isn't it? Youth seems so fun, I was young and naive then, following all your orders, listening to every single thing you asked me to do. Then I got better, and everything just changed. People wanted better performance, the pressure starts getting higher, and I fell. I admit, I've changed a lot. But, that's because I know what's worth and what's not worth sacrificing, or maybe I just gotten softer day by day. I gave up, and passion slowly turned into burden. I tried to stand up and fight back, but I can't, I failed. I couldn't find that passion anywhere in my heart, nor my soul. But now that I know what's more important in my life, I started having a different thinking than you, and you guys thought of it as a rebel. I don't mind, I seriously don't, my heart has been so sad for so long that it started to get hard. The place I once called my paradise, was a living hell now. Is it me? Or is it you?

Why do I feel uncertain? I don't know who can I trust anymore. Lately, the people whom I trust turned their back on me and showed their true selves. Is this reality? If it is, then I'll accept the challenges with patience and strength. I've grown tired of crying, it does nothing but turning me into a frog-eyed human. Why does things start getting uglier as I grow up? Maybe reality is not as easy as I imagined. People whom you trust show their true selves, decisions had to be made, and rules have to be strictly followed and obeyed. What happened to having fun? Taking risks once in a blue moon? I've indeed changed. I used to be like a doll, allowing you to control me with the strings attached on me. But now that I'm growing up, I learned to make my own decisions. Can I or can I not fly with my own wings? Why can't you accept that I've grown up? And you, why must you always threatened me with the secret I expect you to keep? Why? Why must people be so ugly? Is this the true form of humanity?