c-o-w-a-r-d

Been awhile since I've updated. Apologies to the readers(if there's anyone actually reading this blog). Anyhow, it's been a long week, a tiring month and a whole new batch of challenges awaits.

Lately, I realized that I've been turning more and more cowardly. Why? I don't know either and it's the truth I'm telling you. I used to be so kind of wild last time, risking everything and just wanted to let my hair down. But lately, every time I think of doing that, I feel guilty, guilty that I've lied. So instead of sky diving, jumping without a parachute or anything, I'm recoiling back into my shell, the one I've been trying so hard to come out of. And now, it's pulling me back.

I say things that I won't do, speak without thinking twice and worse, bitching about people I hate. Maybe it's the depression, maybe it's the stress, maybe it's the feeling of not wanting to be locked up in a cage. I don't know, either way, I'm a coward. Yes, I am. And I won't deny it.

So I pray really hard, that one day, everything will finally be OK. That everything will turn out good. That we will finally be able to hold our heads high and be together without needing to worry about consequences.