Being a good person is not always a good thing..

Being a good person is not always a good thing. According to me of course. Why? Let's just use alphabetical names so I won't offend anyone.

So, D, supposedly was not allowed to go home alone when nobody was home. Because of recent events. But, he went home, and, unfortunately for me, used my pen drive. Thinking it was not a problem I ignored him, although I was a bit unhappy because I do not like people taking or borrowing my stuff without asking me first. Or as simple as it's called, permission. Weird that people usually do not understand simple things like that, courtesy you might call it. Seems to have vanished into thin air nowadays in this modern generation.

Anyway back to the story, so today, when my dad scanned, BAM! Turns out my pen drive has virus. Obviously, since I'm not the one using it, whose fault is it people? And all my files have to be deleted because of some callous, stupid and reckless person like D.

So like I said, being a good person is not always a good thing to do. Sometimes you just have to be harsh and stand firm on your ground people.

A series of events happened today, both bad and good, to my relief, although, unfortunately, the weighing scale goes down on the bad side. And why is that?

First of all, today was supposed to be a fun day out with a bunch of friends. Instead, I was not in a good shape to be outdoor. As a result, some unwanted events happened, but I would not want to bore you readers with it. Got home, and got accused for not following the curfew although I was sure I did not heard it wrong.

Secondly, went to training but could not train, so just sat there and be a spectator.Got the second bad news, I would not be going to the coming trip. I do understand why I could not go, but I can't help but be disappointed. After all, it was the only time I can let my hair down with all my friends.

Apart from that all, I just hope my luck would get better and the economy crisis will eventually subside. For now, I'll just moan and indulge myself in self pity, again.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Happy Birthday Daddy! You're officially 41 years old now! But no worries Dad, you'll always be young in your heart! So cheers! Thanks for all you've done for me when I was brought to this world by you and Mum! I love you!

Thanks a lot to Fook, Jason, Hee, Danielle and Aunty Josephine for sharing the cost of the birthday cake!

It was so fun surprising Dad. At first, training went on as usual then it got worse. So I took the opportunity to escape, too bad sir said no when my brother went to ask. So we dreaded until surprisingly, sir let us rest. Then Jason, Hee, Danielle and me ran down to bring the cake from Jason's car.

Uncle Piow turned off the lights, according to my dad, he was shocked because of the "power failure". Then, we came in singing 'Happy Birthday' and everyone sang along.

Dad was shocked of course, funnily, he blew the candles before we finished singing!

Not to forget, thank you Master Eddy for letting me going on with the surprise without your permission and not scolding me! Promise it'll be the last time I do this without your permission!

Good deeds seem so pure when you think of it. But do they truly exists? Or is it that there is always hidden agendas behind good deeds?

The sadder good deed? Is when you do something, out of pure love and no hidden agenda, thinking you're doing such a good thing for that particular person, you end up getting blamed and getting scolded. And the worst? Is when you feel you're ruining everything, when what you wanted was as simple as ABC, which is to make the people we love happy and their day memorable.

Will one day ever come when you do a good deed without any hidden agenda and things go as smoothly as you planned it would? I hope it will for me. Because I'm sick of doing things just to help people and make them happy and instead, I'm the wrong one getting blamed and scolded. In the end, I feel so rotten and so hopeless for ruining it.

Jodi Picoult - The Tenth Circle

Just finished reading Jodi Picoult's The Tenth Circle. A really interesting book with great illustrations. It is also linked to Dante's Inferno and the nine levels of hell. Not to mention about the tundra area and the traditions and beliefs of the people living there. Talks about the bond between a father and his child, how parents are afraid to let go of their child which is all part of their kids growing up to becoming independent. How foolish girls can be when their minds are contaminated with peer pressure. It's a really nice book and I really enjoyed reading it. Hope to read more of Jodi Picoult's wonderful books.

A new chapter revealed...

Out of boredom, went through some blog archives and boy have we went through enough! The beginning, 18th May 2009 marked a new bond between us. 23rd May 2009, it was confirmed and was one of the most memorable days I had.

Down till today, 6th December 2009, I can tell you guys, we have been through heaven, hell, rock bottom, total bliss and never-ending demons known to us as 'the guardians'.

So many emotions I have been through yet, I never wanted to give up. Call me stubborn, hot-headed, naive or anything you want, faith and hope was what kept me alive all these times. I do believe the saying, in every minute of happiness, sadness exists. After all, if I could have happiness with the right person, why give up just because of a little bit of flaws?

Therefore, I look forward to graduation and moving on to someplace where I will be accepted with warm welcomes, though I still have a long way. Like I said, the place which I used to call paradise no longer exist because of the path I will not regret choosing. People I once looked up to and respect no longer deserve it. They do not exist. And human minds, they change as fast as lightning.

Enough with the negative comments I wrote, I look forward to begin a new chapter of my life. I look forward to create more memories with the special someone.

Adios folks.

Holidays are as boring as ever, and there are so many things that is awaiting me to complete!

Yet, I want to dedicate this post to someone. And you should know who you are. And I don't care you say I'm a coward or whatever, I hope you read this post.

I asked you why you're upset, you tell me I have friends and yet, I'm always whining and complaining about how I feel left out and marooned. When the 'guardians' were not there, you said I turned my back on you. You said I ignored you and never even bother to look at you. But, let me question you this, did you ever know how many times I looked at you when you did not notice? Did you?

You said all you have is my back and I did not even look at you. Well, did you ever knew I was looking at you even when I'm talking to my friends? I know life has been really hard on us since 18th May 2009. And mind you, I do know how much it has hurt you. Seeing them trying every possible way to break us apart, do you think that does not break my heart?

I know I'm being selfish by setting a line on everything that we're doing. And I do know how much I mean to you. Same thing, you mean a lot to me and I too want us to be happy always.

All I know is, I'm lost again like a little girl that got lost on the way home. I don't know who to trust anymore, I don't know who are my real friends anymore. And face it, I don't know how to answer your questions.

I want to let you know that no matter how hard this path that is set for us, I don't care if we have to take a longer time than other people, but I will, and always want to hold your hand, your warm and comforting hands, and walk through this path with you. Even if we fall, I am never giving up on you. No matter how hard you feel, I'm always there for you, and not one day will I give up on you.

I love you..